I definitely don't want to lead her on. Either way, if you have kids and you don't convert, she will divorce you and take your kids away from you and you will be shunned from her community. Thanks for commenting on my blog. I really enjoy your blog and your humor. But the idea of marrying my husband felt right from almost the get-go and, my patriarchal blessing made so much more sense. I can totally understand. And yet I have such profound respect for his role in our community.
While it's true that Mormons are not one-dimensional and completely predictable, the odds of a successful relationship, given the OP's description of his girlfriend, are slim. Mormonism is not meant to be a casual part of a Mormon's life but it is meant to be the center. For men, this will likely come after completing your mission trip, so in your early 20s at the earliest. If you have tended to straddle the line between light and dark in the past, or have been a partier, expect to make some changes for this relationship, and expect certain things from your new crush. This is not about either of you individually. Just let things keep going. Men search the world for women that they can stand to be around with long-term. All these link from LDS.
In fact, you likely will meet a few. He has spent years building his practice and is a busy, highly successful pediatric surgeon who is compassionate and respected by everybody, but I think by nature, it is hard for him to be empathetic or to relate to more personal issues. I feel like I belong to a sisterhood who understand my life. The church is very important to her. I mentioned in another post that I am okay with us not seeing each other all the time.
RUN like the wind. Certainly there are such people in the church, but there are such people in any organization, and I would challenge you to remember that the members are also individuals with thoughts, feelings and the ability to rebel in their own ways. Only you will know. Too bad she couldn't handle the guilt and remorse. Now that my boyfriend and I are beginning to talk about a future together, though, I realize that I need to consider this question of marrying outside of the church very carefully.